


Sabotage

by Reene_Lou



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Deviousness they name is teenage girl, Drag Queens Ahoy..., M/M, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 18:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reene_Lou/pseuds/Reene_Lou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson nudges Boyd and they both shudder in fear as Lydia and Erica get up from the couch arm in arm, still cackling.  </p><p>“Jesus Christ we’re fucked”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sabotage

Lydia perches delicately on the edge of the most hideous couch she’s ever seen, safe to say if it hadn’t already been salvaged from some thrift store, it deserved to be in a dump somewhere slowly rotting… Anywhere really, as long as the geometric patterns and burnt orange colours were no longer offending her eyes, she makes a mental note that a trip to Ikea is order and gingerly settles back to watch the sparring.

Derek stands against the sidelines, watching Scott and Isaac circle each other slowly, Stiles’ stands beside him jumping up and down pumping a fist cheering them both on and until suddenly he’s stumbling over his own feet and one flailing arm grips Derek’s sleeve to save himself. In an instant he’s back up apologising profusely, one hand still on Derek’s arm, the other brushing his shirt off and generally rambling until Derek’s hand closes over Stiles’ and gently removes it mumbling “s’ fine” before taking a step away from him to focus on the fight.

Stiles’ eyes linger on him, this pitiful look etched on his face; he turns back to the brawling Werewolves yelling for someone to “Kick his fucking ass!” which in turn earns him a pinched look from Derek.

Honestly? Sometimes other people’s obliviousness drives her up the fucking wall…

She really does despair sometimes, but then she thinks maybe she’s just become so good at reading others it’s not as obvious to anyone else? This she decides must be it until Erica saunters into the room with her lipstick smudged to hell and smirk on her lips, Boyd follows her stiffly, walking over to stand by Jackson who gives him a look which roughly translated reads “Dude! I don’t wanna know about your boner!”

Erica collapses on the couch beside her proffering a carton of cigarettes and stuffing them back into her pocket when Lydia politely declines, lighting up she inhales deeply as her eyes follow the same path as Lydia’s until she settles on an awkward looking Stiles and a tense looking Derek.

“Ah, so you’ve noticed too” She laughs delightedly, “I thought I’d have to start banging heads together, but this…” A wicked grin spreads across her face “This is perfect!”

Lydia turns to face her taking in that evil glint in her eye; they both dissolve in to fits of laughter.

* * *

 

Jackson nudges Boyd and they both shudder in fear as Lydia and Erica get up from the couch arm in arm, still cackling. 

“Jesus Christ we’re fucked”

* * *

 

Over the next few days both girls are inseparable, as their plotting goes into hyper drive.

“I still maintain if we lock them both in the same room they could just fuck the tension away” Erica huffs throwing herself on Lydia’s bed with a scowl.

“That my dear whilst ineloquent and almost childish in its simplicity is the back-up plan.”  Lydia falls beside her on the bed, “No we need something fool proof, something devious they’d never suspect”

 

* * *

And that is how Stiles ends up disgustingly alert at ten am the following Saturday in the Beacon Hills shopping mall with a girl on each side of him throwing clothes into his open arms.

“This” Erica grunts throwing a leather jacket on top of the pile, Lydia swiftly throws a pair of black jeans on top of the pile and then they’re shoving him hands everywhere to the nearest changing room.

He stands silently taking in the sheer number of clothes piled on the stool in front of him, “Uhm, not that I’m not grateful for this sudden interest in my appearance” A low growl sounds from the other side of the door “Because I am, seriously eternally grateful!” he stutters “But-“ The door rattles and Lydia’s suddenly staring at him “Stiles if you don’t start trying on clothes we’re both coming in there and forcibly dressing you like some kind of Ken doll”

“Jesusfuckingchrist Lydia!” he manages before she’s gone again and he hears the door lock from the outside.

“JUST PUT THE JEANS ON STILES” she shrieks and he’s stumbling falling against the door in his haste to remove his trousers before she’s even finished.

“Harpy” he mutters praying desperately that Erica’s super hearing doesn’t pick it up.

He tugs the jeans on in confusion…  Was any item of clothing supposed to be this tight? Buttoning them he picks up the nearest t-shirt and throwing the hanger on the floor he pulls it over his head and stops.

“What the fuck? Uh, girls I think you’ve picked up the wrong size you do realise I don’t shop in the juniors right?”

The door swings open again and he shrieks, arms up and covering his chest feeling naked, oh wait he practically was naked he could cover his nipples in two slices of bologna and they’d cover more than this ridiculous shirt.

“Stilinski you’ve been holding out on us…” Erica purs slouching against the door frame giving him an appreciative glance.

He clutches himself even tighter “No, no, no! Do not objectify me.”

Lydia pulls his arms down and stands back to check the outfit whilst he shuffles nervously.

“No you’re right that top is no good, you look like a male whore” she acknowledges swiftly reaching forward to pull up and over his head. Stiles goes pliant in her hands dumbly realizing he’s being undressed by Lydia Martin whilst another girl watches…

In his head he repeats the mantra _iwillnotgetaboneriwillnotgetaboneriwillnotgetaboner_

He lifts his arms as she pulls a different t-shirt over his head and turns him to face the mirror.

It’s actually a really, really nice top, it’s like a dark green colour and although it’s tighter than he’d normally wear even he had to admit it looked good, that he looked good.

Erica leans forward and grabs the jacket off of the stool and throws it at him, “Here, now you’re officially one of the pack” He shrugs it on and holy shit he looks fucking awesome! This is seriously his new favorite jacket even more so than his pinstriped blazer and dear lord he loves that blazer.

“So I’ll ask again, why exactly are you two so interested in my wardrobe?” Stiles questions through the door as he changes back into his regular clothes.

“Oh did we forget to mention it?” Lydia feigns innocence giving Erica a sly look “We’re all out tonight, Jungle or some other club and when I say all that includes you”

 Stiles’ confused face appears from behind the door swiftly followed by the rest of him.

“Okay…” he draws the word out “And I need new clothes for this why?”

“Because you look like you’re drowning in half the clothes you wear” Erica quickly replies “I’ve had my make-over it’s time for yours”

“I don’t think a push up bras’ gonna help me” He gets out before he can help himself.

Erica just laughs “Don’t think we didn’t consider it”

Stiles pales just what exactly have these two have been planning?

 

* * *

Nine o’clock rolls round and he’s halfway down the stairs before he hears a giggle and Lydia telling his Father she will indeed protect his virtue. What the everlovingfuck? He clears his throat standing in the door way waiting for their reactions.

Erica cheers clapping and stands up from where she was perched on the arm of Lydia’s chair, walking round him slowly she ends with a quick slap on the ass “Damn Stilinski, you look delicious”

He startles, harsh gurgles bubble up trying to escape from his throat when really what he wants to say is _myfatherisrightthere!!_ To his credit his Father merely laughs and asks Stiles which one of these lovely ladies is his date.

Ensue more choking and Erica’s laughing trying to perform the Heimlich as delicately as possible on him so as not to break any of his ribs. Lydia informs his Father it’s not a ‘date’ date just a group of friends hanging out but not to worry they’re working on getting Stiles someone.

Stiles prays maybe oxygen isn’t essential for survival as he can feel his windpipe closing with every sentence Lydia speaks.

His Dad insists on a phone call every couple of hours and a text when Stiles’ home since he’s on the nightshift “And please for the love of God don’t make me have to come and break some kneecaps, be careful okay?” Stiles promises giving his Dad a hug they both mumble I love you’s and he’s home free or so he thinks until his Dad is producing a fucking camera out of nowhere.

Lydia and Erica crowd close around him, Lydia’s arm around his waist and Erica’s arm curled through his, they’re both pressing kisses against each of his cheeks and once again he’s thinking _iwillnotgetaboneriwillnotgetaboner_

The resulting photo would actually become one of his favorites, when the thought of Lydia and Erica not being best friends is actually more perturbing than the thought of them being best friends...

 

* * *

They  arrive at the club at a quarter past, Erica’s cooing in the bouncers ear and suddenly they’re inside as if there hadn’t been thirty people standing in the queue before them.

He spots the rest of the pack in varying states of humour sitting in a booth towards the side of the club, walking over he realises holy fuck he’s joined some sort of Motorcycle gang…

How many cows died to make this much leather?  Suddenly he’s not feeling quite as awesome as he did earlier in the dressing room.

Scott and Isaac are deep in conversation; Jackson and Boyd are getting up to go to the bar which means he’s sliding in the booth right next to Derek, who was sprawled out comfortably and is now sitting up with his drink in hand, moving round to make room for the three of them.

“Nice jacket” Scott grins leaning over the table to high five him.

“Yeah I’m thinking of bedazzling the back with the words pack member in hot pink rhinestones” he waves his hands with a smile relaxing as the conversation calms him.

Scott and Isaac are snorting with laughter whilst Lydia bites her lip to keep from smirking as Derek’s features flicker from confusion to mild horror.

“So, uh what are we drinking” he asks ask Boyd and Jackson slip back into the booth pushing a dark coloured glass towards him.

“Taste it and you’ll find out” Jackson grunts putting one arm around Lydia and kissing her neck making her squeal and shove against his chest playfully.

He’s downed the drink and is on his third before the urge to dance becomes too strong, Stiles is a fantastic dancer, something about the constant current of hyperactive energy pulsing just under the surface or maybe it’s the amount of Adderall he has in his system at any given time.

Okay so maybe he’s not a fantastic dancer, but he’s certainly an enthusiastic one.

Half an hour of dancing alone in the middle of the club and he’s attracting all the wrong attention, he’s relieved when Amber walks over to him with a click of her tongue looks him over appreciatively before practically molding herself to his body and dancing with him for the next couple of songs.

 

* * *

Derek sits grinding his teeth, eyes ablaze pounding shot after shot trying to get drunk but to no avail… Werewolves after all can’t get drunk, stupid fucking metabolism.

 

* * *

Lydia stands at the bar with Erica in tow, watching as Stiles partakes in what can only be considered a clothed threesome with two fabulously dressed drag queens.  She glances towards Derek only to see an empty seat where his fantastic ass used to be, as he’s currently marching across the dance floor towards said threesome.

The glee that bubbles up inside of her is literally inhuman and her fingers claw at Erica’s shirt as she points towards the now stationary Stiles and his entourage as Derek is shouting something she can’t quite catch over the sound of a pretty awesome Katy Perry remix.

“He’s ranting about pack and something about possession” Erica supplies helpfully in her ear.

Now Stiles’ arms are flailing and he’s shouting back at Derek whilst both drag queens nod behind him arms crossed looking for lack of a better phrase, ready to commit murder on the dance floor.

“Stiles’ yelling something about not being Derek’s and not for a lack of being subtle” Lydia can hear the grin in Erica’s voice as she relays this.

And suddenly Derek is grabbing Stiles and throwing him over his shoulder stalking towards the entrance with a furious Stiles pounding his fists against his back.

They both stand against the bar silently shaking Erica’s hand over Lydia’s mouth and the other fisted in her mouth trying to stifle their laughter.

 

* * *

Lydia receives a sheepish text half an hour later from Stiles informing her that he’s spending the night at hers if his Father asks.

 

* * *

No one takes the blame when Stiles jacket turns up a few weeks later with the words Derek’s boyfriend emblazoned across the back in hot pink rhinestones…

 

* * *

Erica and Lydia sit cross legged on the floor of Erica’s room cackling like they’re demonically possessed glue gun still hot and a packet of rhinestones scattered across the floor.

  
“We’re fucking fabulous” Lydia grins “Now who else can we turn our attention to, maybe we can get Isaac a lady love?”

 

Erica laughts until her stomach starts hurting “Isaacs gay! He's hot for scotty unless you haven't noticed?”

 

Lydia decides then maybe her observational skills aren't quite what she thought they were…

**Author's Note:**

> So the title sucks but I can't think of anything better. 
> 
> Written for my darlin' friend Megs over on tumblr [becauseimwolfit](http://becauseimwolfit.tumblr.com/) go follow her because she's afuckingdorable! 
> 
> I totally credit her for this and take any blame over the shitty content.
> 
> I'd also like to give credit to [FaeryQueen07](http://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeryQueen07/pseuds/FaeryQueen07) who's Drag queens I kinda stole and gave absolutely no justice to seriously read her fic [To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar](http://archiveofourown.org/works/487396) it's amazing!
> 
> I like to post my fics on [tumblr](http://captainsourwolfandadderallboy.tumblr.com/) too so stop by and say hello C:


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